Assignment #1 Scores and Feedback

Here are your scores for assignment number one.  I was very satisfied with these essays, and in essence they all deserve an A for content.  But grammar and attention to detail does play a part, so I want you guys to strive for immaculate essays.  If I sense that you wrote your essay quickly, did not reread it, did not revise it, and did not attempt to organize it to its best potential to the best of your ability, I will have to dock points.

Some of you have lived abroad and have it easier, but you still tend to make glaring errors that signal "did not reread" before posting.  If and when you enter university, DON'T YOU DARE hand in an essay with a missing "the" or a lower case proper noun or a mixed verb in the first sentence. 

Each essay accounts for 10% of your grade.  So take them all seriously and SPELL CHECK.

	Optimus Prime		92.30
	Bumblebee		92.00
	Ratchet		91.50
	Ironhide		91.70
	Mudflap		91.10
	Jolt		90.50
	Inferno		91.80
	Sentinal		90.90
	Kickback		92.60
	Wheeljak		91.20
	Megatron		91.10
	Demolisher		91.00
	Star Scream		90.00
	Ravage		89.40
	Devastator		89.30
	Rampage		92.70
	Scrapper		89.40
	Laserbeak		90.80
Class Summary
Average		91.08
Highest Score		92.70
Lowest Score		89.30

Ray Bradbury and "the collective unconscious"

I hope you enjoyed the 25 minute documentary we watched about Ray Bradbury.  I found it provides a lot of valuable context for The Martian Chronicles, and it's also very interesting to note the world's population at the time it was made (it has since DOUBLED) and the "technology" Bradbury found so intriguing and potentially "horrifying."  Computers have definitely changed since then, as has the phone (both combing to become one entity).

We saw the masks in Bradbury's office, which might give you a sense of the "collective unconscious" he hints at throughout the many stories.  Carl Jungs ideas in relation to Bradbury may be coincidental or explicit - I'm not sure.  But we can see a connection.  Keep this in mind as you read.

For many reasons, I feel the film Apocalypto also bares some resemblance to what's happening on Mars.  Here is the ENTIRE MOVIE on YouTube.  Watch it if you are bored. It's pretty amazing actually:

There are some good quotes where I found the film here at www.brainpickings.org - which is a very cool site in istelf:

http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2012/08/22/ray-bradbury-story-of-a-writer-1963/

And here is the original film if you feel like watching it again, which you probably don't:

"You" vs. "He/She" vs. Past vs. Present

The writing assignment I've given you can be a bit challenging since you aren't allowed to use the plain and simple "I".  However, I think the process of writing will become more interesting, and, IF you treat it seriously, you will likely produce something you are proud of.

The YOU narrative can achieve a lot of things, and really grab your reader and put them in YOUR shoes.  You might have a number of reasons for doing this.  You may want to educate them, or simply make them feel what you felt as strongly as possible.

As writers, you have to make decisions to best suit what you are writing and WHAT you are writing it for.  Think about it before you write.  Third or Second person -- both have clear advantages in particular instances.

As I mentioned in class, I found this "Letter to an Expectant Father" in Esquire Magazine to be really well written.  You may want to consider this kind of approach - writing a letter to a "soon-to-be" KMLAian. 

Here it is:

http://www.esquire.com/fatherhood-0612/

And here is where the "You" really works effectively in a personal anecdote:

You will occasionally fail at something very simple — probably because the honking has given you the yips. Awake at 3:00 A.M. with nothing else to do but watch the Concerned Mother/Crying Baby Subunit in full symbiosis, you will, say, decide to sterilize a new pacifier and you will, say, put the pacifier in a saucepan with some water and you will turn the burner up to high and you will come back to the sofa and you will sit down next to the mother and the baby, who is now feeding and thus quiet, and you will fall asleep. And after the water has all turned to steam, the pacifier will begin to melt and then burn in the saucepan. You will wake to the sounds of the mother freaking out. This is bumbling. Technically, it's a kitchen fire. But you will extinguish the flames. The important part is: Somehow, against incredible odds, and only because you were trying to help, you will set a pacifier on fire. Metaphorically, at least. But you will handle the crisis. Because there's too much at stake. 

What's at stake is best contemplated when you are alone with the baby. And being alone with the baby is best done a few days in and very late at night — because you want to allow the baby's mother to get some sleep. And being alone with the baby late at night — watching it fall asleep in your arms and then wake up over the course of two or three hours — is as unfamiliar as it gets. Heat will radiate from its tiny body into your stomach. There will be squirming. There will be shitting, the sluicing sound of which is louder than you'd think. Its eyes might open a little, even while it's sleeping. And at some point there will be staring. Having a staring contest with a newborn is one of the weirdest things you will ever do. And it is highly recommended. Because the baby is a stranger, and you need to get to know it. It is a tiny stranger that has come into your home, demanding to be fed, demanding to be cleaned, and then staring at you for long periods of time without smiling — or blinking. You might not feel love for this stranger at first. You might feel mostly gravity. But the gravity begins to get replaced by love over the next few days or weeks. And the staring seems to accelerate things. The baby becomes more familiar. 

Very early fatherhood is a kind of greatness, but it isn't heroism. You don't have to learn as much as you think. You don't have to do as much as you think. It's more amusing than you think it will be. It's more absurd. And it can all be reckoned with, if only task by task and despite your inexperience. Very early fatherhood is aided by skills, which you will master, and instinct, which you come equipped with, and love, which you will be engulfed by. The newborn baby requires just a little of all of that, and you will provide.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/fatherhood-0612/#ixzz25Nmx5DyI